Note: You can use the same method below on a smaller scale, such as on Ritz crackers, and omit the straw and freezer teeth. Simply use a tooth pick to carefully carve out teeth from the mouth.
Mavis' Scream Cheese
1 pgk. cream cheese (room temperature)
1/2 bagel (the bottom half)
Picture of the scream cheese for reference while you work
(The one at the top of this post is perfect)
☠ Using a butter knife cut a rectangle piece of cream cheese from the block.
☠ With a small sharp knife, cut triangles of varying size from the cream cheese rectangle (shown right) & place onto waxed paper or parchment paper (these will be the scream cheese's teeth).
☠ Once you have the amount of teeth you'd like, plus a few extra, place the paper with the teeth onto a plate & into the freezer.
☠ Spread enough cream cheese on the bagel bottom to cover it, but not too thick.
☠ Take your bendy straw and bend it into an "L" shape.
☠ Place the small section of the straw through the bagel hole so that it is under the bagel and the long part is standing up in the center of the bagel.
☠ Cut the straw based on how tall you want your scream cheese to be (discard the cut off portion).
☠ Smear butter on your finger tips, including thumbs, & any other implements you will be using such as a toothpick or Popsicle stick.
☠ Using your buttery-slick fingers, take some of the cream cheese and begin to build a round barrier on the top of the bagel, making sure the base is thick enough to hold what you place above it.
☠ Work your way up by flattening out sections of cream cheese using your buttered fingers (re-butter your fingers when the cream cheese starts to stick to them) and smoothing the cheese onto the already constructed parts.
☠ After the base is made, make sure you leave the front open because it will become the mouth.
☠ With the mouth opening facing you, flatten out a section of cream cheese large enough to connect the two sides from within in order to hide the straw.
☠ Smooth the cream cheese into the walls of the mouth.
☠ Continue to build up the scream cheese, making sure to angle the sides in as you make your way to the top of the head.
☠ Make a small dome with your buttery fingers & smooth the ends of it onto the sides you've built up.
☠ Take your cream cheese teeth out of the freezer & begin to fix them onto the mouth using little bits of the soft cream cheese, gently smoothing as you go.
☠ Once you've gotten the teeth done & if you have any triangles left over, fix them onto the sides of the scream cheese using soft cream cheese and smoothing.
☠ Using a butter-slickened toothpick, gently create the scream cheese's eyes with a circular motion (not a poke through!), smoothing away any tiny cheese bits that form.
☠ After checking and smoothing, your scream cheese is done!